Betty ford says i'm here all night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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