i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
