i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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