He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
