i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
