Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Randomize
