im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
