lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
