New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
