Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
