so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
