bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Someone signed my nipple.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
