So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize