obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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