I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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