they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
A+ Viking dick
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
