if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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