Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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