Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
