I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She bit a glass in half.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
