One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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