Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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