Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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