question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
