I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
