I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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