Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
