2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
