I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
