I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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