Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
