I heard we made out
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
