She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
