There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
