I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
