but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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