i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
