We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
