the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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