How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
