I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
