found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
