i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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