So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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