he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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