i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize