If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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