You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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