Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
