Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
