And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
