she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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