I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize