Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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