I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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