he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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