I just saw a hot homeless man
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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