I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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