awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
