FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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