i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
