I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize