i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
